Viti-what?

Nothing in life is guaranteed.  Cliche, yes, but there's a reason people say it so much: It's true.  I was reminded of that recently during a visit to my endocrinologist.

For the last four years, my doctor and I have focused on the goal of getting my thyroid hormone levels within their "normal" ranges.  At the height of my Graves' Disease complications in 2010-11, my levels were beyond abnormal.  After two years, my levels were consistently within normal ranges (I think my doctor was happier than I was—a moment I'll never forget).  As expected, the worst of the symptoms were subsiding.  We felt as though everything was finally under control, although the problems never disappeared.

Then, about six months ago, I noticed a slight discoloration on one of my cheeks.  It was strange but small, so I didn't give it much thought.  As the weeks went by, the discoloration become more widespread and noticeable.  While I hoped it was the unfortunate result of spending more time in the sun (like some type of strange sunburn), a part of me knew there was a different reason.

Turns out it was the lingering effects of Graves' Disease.  Despite everything being normal, I have developed vitiligo, another autoimmune disease.  According to the National Institutes of Health, vitiligo "is a disorder in which white patches of skin appear on different parts of the body.  This happens because the cells that make pigment (color) in the skin are destroyed."  For some reason, the immune system attacks those cells.  I don't know much more than that at this point.  My doctor initially didn't think there was much that could be done, but she later reversed course and recommended I see a dermatologist.  I hope that something can be done to reverse the pigmentation loss, or at the very least stop it, but I'm pretty sure it's irreversible.

This latest diagnosis was the last thing I needed.  As many people know, I'm already very self-conscious about my bulging eyes (thanks, Graves ophthalmopathy!).  As you may have guessed based on my last post, I've become self-conscious about my bumpy legs (thanks, Graves dermopathy!)  Now my face has discolored splotches, and that weighs heavily on me psychologically (thanks, vitiligo!).  I sadly feel as though my immune system is turning me into a freak show, and that's not easy for a single guy to accept in a superficial world.  Frankly all of it's embarrassing, unattractive, and unsightly.  I guess if there's any silver lining it's that I'm not working in television any longer.  That's pressure I don't need!  What I need instead is mental toughness.  Lord, help me!

Well, this got supremely personal.  I couldn't help it, and I hope you'll forgive my rants even though, in the grand scheme of things, my diagnoses are not fatal or physically debilitating like many other more well known diseases.  Nonetheless, the effects of Graves' Disease are real and ongoing.  Even when you think everything is under control.

Normal, Sweet Normal

Great news from my lab tests this past week: For the first time in more than two years, my thyroid hormone levels are within normal ranges! I think my endocrinologist was just as excited as I was. She says this development is critical to my recovery because if hormone levels are normal, then body functions have a significantly better chance of being normal. Of course, the latter is not a given; I'll still need to get plenty of sleep, eat properly, exercise regularly, and manage my stressful environments closely. But all indications are that my health is improving. The eye pain has decreased for the last year, and my leg/foot swelling is less than it once was (but shoes still have a tight fit). My endo thinks the increase of pitting in the edema is a sign that the swelling is retracting--fingers crossed the eye protrusion eventually will reduce, too. And to top it all off, my weight and blood pressure have both decreased since earlier this year. Let's hope the "new normal" makes itself at home for quite a while!