"So, I'm guessing in a past life you were a news anchor," he said sheepishly.
"Yeah," I replied. He and I had recently added each other as friends on Facebook, and he saw some pictures of me on the anchor desk and reporting on location. Apparently he didn't think they were pictures of me at first. Instead, he thought they were pictures of somebody closely resembling me, and I was living vicariously through said somebody. His girlfriend told him the pictures were of me, but even my reply wasn't enough to convince him.
"Then why do you look so different?" he asked with doubt.
Something in me changed at that moment. I wasn't mad or offended. Actually, I felt slightly vindicated.
I was diagnosed with Graves Disease in early 2009 and initially treated with radioactive iodine, which left me with very little of my thyroid. For about a year afterward, everything was fine. In the summer of 2010, however, complications began developing. By winter, my eyes protruded so much they couldn't fully close at night, I was gaining weight, my lower legs developed a rashy feel to them, my ankles/feet would swell to the size of softballs, my face appeared puffy, I had intermittent abdominal pangs, my eyes were overly sensitive to wind/cold/sun, my vision began to blur slightly, and my energy level and motivation was lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut. I knew I had to make a decision, and after talking with my doctors and my family, I knew that I needed to take some time away from work. What used to be a job I loved was more physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting than anything I'd ever experienced before--even NYS Police Academy training! The stress was multiplied a hundred-fold, and even if it wasn't the direct cause, it wasn't a solution either.
My bosses could not have been more understanding. They were very patient with me about the whole process, and so many of my friends and coworkers were equally supportive. Even some complete strangers. But I couldn't help but wonder--in the back of my mind--were there doubters? Were there people who felt I wasn't really sick and that I was looking for an easy way out? After all, who's heard of Graves Disease, much less knows what it really involves? Even my lawyer at the time brought it up at one point: "I'm assuming you're not lying to me, and if we needed to get a letter from your doctors, they'd tell me exactly what you just told me."
That's why, in some ways, I'm glad about today's exchange during the lunch hour. It was like an acknowledgement that I'm different now than I was before, and there's a reason why I left my job. Of course, I knew that and so did my loved ones, so why should it matter? Good question. Maybe it didn't. But either way, I appreciated the sense of closure it seemingly brought.
By the way, in case you're wondering, I answered his question by explaining that I had a thyroid disease that was altering me physically (I just can't lie about it when asked, not even to the Dalai Lama, but that's another story for another day). He felt bad, despite my best efforts to assure him otherwise. Fortunately we still smiled when we went our separate ways...no hard feelings. And, if you're wondering about the soup I ordered: A tomato-based vegetable soup with beef.
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